1. |
cigarat pack
02:55
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i sat and smoked from a window with a view of the city sleeping and i knew that i don't need you or anyone else. but hey, that's messed up. where does that leave chance encounters? and sparks to light old flames? and what if i just want her? my words fail me. but don't they always? follow me through dirty hallways. i know what you've done. but it's fine. i'd do the same, or at least i try to disappoint you. listening to your radio in the bath. what if i pushed it in? would you be mad? i'm a voice on the airwaves you're a body in my bed. it's always come and go. you're the pounding in my head. maybe next year will be better. maybe next year i will care. maybe next time someone will get closer, blurring lines between here and there.
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2. |
i'm not good at anything
01:35
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hold onto those teenage angsty melancholy songs. it's better than feeling nothing at all, fooling yourself all along with the same drawings, same songs, same fucking room. feeling the same kind of sick. with tired and queasy and weak on the floor. vision blurring, you're losin it. it's a small town where everyone knows everyone. nobody knows you speak. but you still see them staring in the halls. smile politely hating yourself quietly. so bored, yet so overwhelmed. watching autumn fall fall fast looking out from your shell with the blankets pulled tight to keep away monsters, but when they're in your heart and head, no it doesn't help.
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3. |
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clever boys raised by raised voices and slamming doors will always find a way to find their way into trouble. go west young man. make your mistakes and write them on your arms. what do i represent to you? mistakes to avoid? prioritized below your warm bed on the outskirts of the furthest city. all i want is to be equals and best friends. i avoided each mistake so far. you were never really close enough to be of influence. but i still want to be just like you. shining eyes, strength of will and a foothold in conversations. i was looking for you everywhere i've been. boys will be boys. mom and dad just don't understand.
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4. |
cheeky one
02:16
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short hair. blue eyes. second time around. something in my back. no resolve. looking back. you're the one thing i can count on. count on you to bring me down, to fall asleep. i'll stay up. spitting up my guts. feels like a scarecrow dried out. but the birds aren't scared they're pecking me apart. i'm prepared for you to hurt me. ready for the blows to come. i feel colder when i'm inside. eyes shut. wounds open wide.
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5. |
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when my plane explodes and i fall from the sky, will you be on the tarmac arms open wide? i'll breathe a sigh of relief, my feet on solid ground. i can't replace this place with anywhere i've found. it's just a visit. i'm just passing through. i missed this warm air and this nothing to do. i don't know the midwest. i don't know chicago. oh, god i love it. but it's not my home. alabama's woods. birmingham's quiet streets. a drunken kitchen. my friends and family. so i won't sleep. maximize my time. betray me with a kiss on the cheek so i may be crucified. and on my last night i called you three times. please pick up the phone and hear me try to man up and sound eloquent. i'm hung up but not indifferent for once. i need to get some sleep but i wanna stay up for all of it.
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